What do I wish to transform?

I wish to transform my mind – from a chattering, busy, worrying mind to a quiet, calm, graceful mind. I wish to transform the drama I create in my mind to quiet thoughtfulness that works through the unknown I encounter in life.

This is hard to admit – but it seems all my adult life that I can remember – when things go wrong I take it personally and get upset and emotional. I feel like the universe does not like me for some reason. And I fret over what I have done to cause this.

We have a very cool camper van – Samwise (yes, from The Lord of the Rings). It is so fun to take adventures with Samwise, a room with a view in the wilderness. The only problem has been that Samwise has had a lot, a lot of mechanical issues.

In the Dollhouse, October 2008 – the beautiful adventures we can have with Samwise!

This past weekend he stranded my husband when he was off on a business trip. Yet another mechanical that was expensive, and is still not completely resolved. I don’t want to bore you with all of the details, but suffice it to say – it threw me for a loop.

I got upset and emotional…and took it personally – like I had done something wrong and the universe was punishing me. It feels like it’s been piling on over the past few years. There have been some doozies – getting laid off, surgery and other health issues, and the vehicle.

There have also been some very wonderful times and many ‘Ordinary Sparkling Moments‘  (a great phrase and a wonderful book by Christine Mason Miller) that I fail to remember or appreciate when things are going wrong. I forget to be thankful for my health – and in this incident that it wasn’t an accident and no one was hurt.

When I talked with friends – ranted, weeped, moaned – I received so many understanding nods, sympathetic words, and hugs. And my husband, who was living the drama – three nights stuck – was ever so patient with my emotional turmoil (he always is). It has all helped me realize everything will work out OK. And I am hoping, along with this very timely Wishcasting Wednesday prompt from the lovely Jamie Ridler,  I will continue to learn to deal with unexpected wrenches life throws with more grace.

Thank you all for listening. Please know I am here to listen also. Namasté.

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5 Comments

Filed under Everyday Adventure, Friends, Outdoor Adventure, Spirituality

5 responses to “What do I wish to transform?

  1. i understand how a series of setbacks can feel overwhelming. joining you in wishing for a calmer mind. as you wish for yourself, i wish for you also.

  2. Wow….your world can be so full of drama, although I can completely relate! Just this summer I had the hard lesson of learning that ‘shit happens’! There is just no other way to explain it. Just when you least expect it, unless like me, (see I’m already blaming myself), I put my guard down!!!! I’m actually appoligizing for not being always ‘on top of my game’…hey, I say let’s cut ourselves some flack, save our energy, relax and take things in stride. It really isn’t all about us! Thanks so much for sharing, you have great writing skills.

  3. As you wish for yourself, Lisa, so do I wish for you! 🙂

    Ah those wrenches! May you use them to build something spectacular! 🙂

  4. Thanks for commenting on my blog/
    I came over here to visit and wow I would like to get to know you better
    I loved reading your post and I definitely was inspired as I looked through some earlier posts. i might just right about you.
    If you would like me to feature you on my blog during Inspiration December i will. I might have to ask you a few questions about why you blog and what your journey is all about.
    Let me know
    Namaste

  5. As you wish for yourself, so do I wish for you…

    Life can give us challenges… but we all have them. And our lives with never be “perfect” or without challenges… So we all have a choice on “what we focus on — the good stuff or the bad stuff. I’m happy, grateful, and present everyday, no mater what is going on. Yes, I have my moments, but most of the time I try to focus on the blessings…

    Love, peace and Christmas blessings,
    xoxo Valerie

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