Trust is the word I’m using to guide me in 2013. For me the guidance is all about self-trust: believing I am enough and that I deserve to live a beautiful, creative and juicy life. This is something that does not come easily for me, and as I write these words I am feeling rather tender. I’m not sure exactly why – it’s just been one of those weeks.
Part of me wants to hit delete and forget about sharing this whole concept – it feels too vulnerable. But I’m not going to do this, because after many years of letting these feelings get the better of me I realize that these feelings will always ebb and flow. And if I remember this and allow myself to trust – even when I’m feeling scared and tender, even when I’m not sure I’ve used the exact right words, even when I’m not hearing back from someone I expected to – I will work through these feelings of not enough with much less internal drama and turmoil. I’ll realize that these emotional feelings were being whispered in my ear by an insistent gremlin that I couldn’t pry from my shoulder. And eventually I’ll be able to brush her off and continue on my way forward.
The other reason I can’t scrap this post is that I’m rather liking this piece I created for you dear reader: A beautiful reminder to trust yourself that you can make your very own and hang in a spot where it will be an ongoing reminder to let those tender feelings wash through you, and not to let them stop you from making your way forward with your dreams.
I originally created this in my journal, to test things out for creating this download for you. I liked it so much the way it was that I scanned it from my journal. The piece I have hanging on my bulletin board – just to the left and in front of me as I type away – was printed from the scan and colored before I finished creating the download.
The thing I’ve found about coloring is – it is meditative. I just pick out the colors and start coloring. My mind can let go of nagging thoughts and just pay attention to coloring within the lines. (Yes, for this kind of thing I prefer to stay within the lines as much as possible and you may feel free to color as you wish). I hope you will find it meditative – bringing you back to a state of self-trust. I know it helped me this week.
To finish the download I was playing with adding a border, and the star just evolved. Let this be your shining start of self-trust. My plan is to color a new trust page, with the star, when I have a few minutes and I need to come back to a place of self-trust.
I also find that going outside for a jaunt in the fresh air tends to brush the gremlin off my shoulder. Maybe she doesn’t like all that fresh air, and she goes to find a rock to hide under. Whatever it is, I’m sure glad she doesn’t follow me for very long out in nature.
I’d love to hear how you find self-trust, and if my little coloring page helps you.
Wishing you lots of love & self-trust!
Lisa, the mountain mermaid